Barbara wanted to share her story, because she is proud of the fact that she has broken the cycle of abuse and she believes that her past influenced who she is today. As a child she was neglected and physically, sexually and emotionally abused. Not being raised in faith or religion, she surprisingly recounts the events of her abuse to include an angel, that would appear and take her spirit into a corner. In this corner she can look at what was happening, but not be in it, to feel the pain. She attributes this angel of God as a saving Grace in her life. At thirteen years old, she was removed from her home, but held deep resentment and anger towards her parents for not rescuing her. She was diagnosed with bi polar disorder at sixteen and experienced the up and down rollercoaster cycles between depression and a mania a couple of times a day.
At eighteen, she had a major turning point in her life. Sitting in her car she broke down and prayed for God to show her how to forgive and release her from the heavy burden that she was carrying. After a few days she felt like a weight was lifted and her anger had left her. In gratitude for this healing and the realization that God didn’t do all these horrible things to her and she needed him in her life, she began to search for a church. Within a years’ time, she met and fell in love with her future husband Bob. Bob was a devout practicing catholic, who brought her into the faith. She met with the Pastor a Monsignor for private one on one instruction and was received into the catholic faith on the Feast of the Assumption. They soon married and began growing their family.
Barbara thought it would be best for her babies during pregnancy and nursing to go off of her meds. She soon learned that this was “not” what was best for her children, because she struggled on the verge of suicide and drastic highs and lows. This caused her to need treatment away from her children and she finally faced the fact that she has a chemical issue that needs medicine to be well for her kids.
Bob and Barbara now have seven children, two boys and five girls. They have high expectations of raising their family with strong catholic values. They take their children to church every Sunday and on occasion attend daily mass. Barbara wakes up every morning starting her day off with prayer, a cup of coffee and the rosary. Her morning offering, is for God to use her in the day, for his good and the good of her husband and kids. At night she prays the rosary with her children and believes great things are happening, because of her faith. She was diagnosed with a solid mass in her throat and woke up one morning and it was gone. One of her daughters had a hip dysplasia and it too was healed. They are now praying for a healing for her other daughter that is suffering from FSGS, which is a kidney disease with scar tissue on the filters of her kidneys. There is no cure, nor, understanding as to the cause.
Of her seven children, she sees the strongest faith in her daughter that suffers from this disease. She knows from her own suffering that it brings you closer to God. Everyday Barbara says, she picks up her cross and carries it, without complaint, finding sweet joys. These sweet joys are her seven children, that counter for her, the seven wounds of Christ and the seven sorrows of Mary. She looks to Mary as her example of motherhood and asks her daily for help to carry the same patience, love and strength that she carried to her holy family.
FSGS (Focal Segmental Glomulerosclerosis)
This book helped Barbara immensely when healing from her child abuse
National Suicide prevention lifeline